I love Halloween. I can buy tons of candy without anyone looking at me funny. They assume it's for the kids. But no. I don't give candy out to kids - it's much too good for children. Instead I hand out peanuts.
But there was a small mishap last night. While some children were receiving their peanuts, Little Jonida ran out of the house and down the street. "Wait!" I called. "Wait!" It's a shame she never learned English. I was forced to shove the children out of the way and ran down the street after Little Jonida. It was then that some idiot spotted me, thought I was dressed up as Joe Mallozzi for Halloween and asked to take my picture. I, of course, acquiesced. Then I gave them my autograph. I found Little Jonida with a pack of hookers.
Actually they turned out to be high school girls wearing Halloween costumes but I couldn't tell the difference. In fact, I had seen so many girls dressed in so little that I thought there must be some kind of rally going on with the local chapter of "Prostitutes for Peace."
The new episode is coming along well... or rather it was... you see, one of the main cast members decided to get pierced ears without approval. The careful-eyed viewer will notice that, in our upcoming episode, studs are there half the time and gone the other half. I hate these people who think they can do whatever they want to their own bodies without asking me, the one Power That Be, for my blessing. I am not best pleased. It's time for me to go kick my neighbor's jack-o-lantern off their balcony. So long.
Pics: Carving a pumpkin for Little Jonida. That last one was what I chucked at an old man after I set his beard on fire.
